Torn Between Two

The story of a girl having to choose between two suitors is an epic romantic tale that is told and retold in books and television series. It sells to female patrons and audiences simply because it is ...

The story of a girl having to choose between two suitors is an epic romantic tale that is told and retold in books and television series. It sells to female patrons and audiences simply because it is arguably the ultimate fantasy. There are however variations to the plot. In one case, the girl is presented as initially uncommitted and later finds herself the object of affection of two men. An alternate version is that the girl is already in a relationship yet despite this, she is tempted to entertain the enticements of a second man. In either case, there is an overwhelming euphoria vicariously experienced by the female reader or viewer as she is able to see herself in the place of the girl in the story.

But such stories are mere fiction. And when this situation happens in real life, the story seldom ends happily.

Is it healthy to get used to the affections of more than one individual? When a person grows accustomed to the attention, concern and possibly even the love of many, that individual may inadvertently learn to crave it even after entering into a committed relationship. That person might be tempted to love an individual publicly while loving someone else in secret simply because of having developed a belief that the love of one person is not enough. Instead of choosing one, that person ends up keeping both lovers. This is more likely to happen when the individual rationalizes it by saying that it is safer to love two people and keep one or more in reserve just in case the first one doesn’t work out. However, by preparing for the worst case scenario and believing that things might not last, that person may even make his fears come true.

Being in a relationship should teach couples to work out the unavoidable differences and issues that may come up. Preparing for a breakup may just actually cause it. Mature relationships grow only by mutually trying to fix whatever conflicts that arise. More importantly, when a person chooses to be in a relationship, it should foster in him the responsibility of caring for it. And finally, couples should respect the relationship by ensuring that they do nothing that would tarnish it so that they may always feel good and proud of what they have. By respecting the relationship that a person is in, he is in effect respecting himself.