Don't Give In To Rudeness

By Shamala Tan

I posted this on my social media several days back, and it sparked some private conversations with some of my friends.

How often do we feel we are entitled to be rude when we are unhappy about something? As if unhappiness is a kind of permission slip to let us behave like brats.

We see this all too often in restaurants when people get so nasty when they do not get what they want. They feel that if money can buy them anything, then they should get what they want. Maybe buying some manners would help solve some of their problems.

I've had on several occasions had to apologise to the wait staff on behave of friends or family for their rude behaviour. Instead of getting into fights with my friends/family over it, on the right way to behave. I prefer to take it privately with the wait staff and apologise on my friends'/family members' behalf. It is not as if the 'bad service' was done on purpose. Everyone is trying their best, and just sometimes their best is not at your level best.

There are so many ways to deal with bad service, unhappiness over situations or people, and rudeness should not be one of them. It only shows your own lack of character, integrity and self-control. The worst thing is sometimes these rude people are so smug about it, when indeed there is nothing to be proud about.

If we do not get what we want, speaking rationally and kindly usually gets more results. I do not believe that any rude person has gotten what they want in the end, they just get a lot of bad social credits.

Why is kindness so difficult to practice? It is just basic. Kindness is the base practice of all religious and spiritual circles, yet people who proudly declare themselves of a certain religion treat others like they own them. I'm sure you have heard of people leaving their religious institutions after an hour of prayer, only to cuss and swear at someone at the parking lot, because they did not get what they want?

What is the point of that one hour of religious practice? What is the point?

I may sound like I am disappointed in humanity and I am ranting in this post. It is times like these, which makes me re-evaluate my values and check myself on when I have slipped up. We should always learn from other people's mistakes if not, it is a total waste of THEIR mistakes.

Kindness can be a meditation practice. Just keep being kind to whoever and whatever like cats, dogs, lizards etc. And if kindness is unfamiliar to you, the best thing to do is keep quiet. My teacher used to say, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. It is good advice.

When dealing with rude people, being kind is the toughest. Just breathe. Take deep breaths and count to 10. And know that you losing control is not worth it. It is not worth sinking down to a level that is detrimental to your own mental and emotional well being. If being kind to others is tough, at least do it for yourself. With practice, it gets easier.

Kindness is truly a sign of strength.

My clients call me the chiropractor for the soul because it is what I do best. I align my clients with their body, mind and soul. The end game - to live more purposeful lives. I have a deep love for psychology, all things spiritual and non-religious. Join me and over 250k followers on my Facebook: http://www.Facebook.com/BeSpiritualandrich and visit my website http://www.ShamalaTan.com